i'm at home now...goign back to sch at 4 again for my crt...
i told my darling alot of things yesterdae...i hurt him once again...i didn't regret telling him but instead regret wad i did...
one or two years back...i was a gal who go arnd joking wif ppl...take photos...tapping on ppl shoulder asking them to cheer up...blah blah blah...no matter gal or boy...those who dUn noe mi well sometym think i'm flirting arnd...those who noe mi well...they noe i'm not...but tat was one or two years ago...at tat tym i dUn hav a guy who loved so much by my side...i onli got my frens...but now tat i hav my darling...i noe...i should chgn becos i'm attach...i cannot be who i used to b becos this is basic respect for my darling...i'm trying hard to chgn...but somehow...the old crystal jus come back to haunt mi...but the good qualities tat i had didn't come...onli those rubbish came back...end up i hurt him...again...
putting tat a side...another thing is tat when i got a little agitated...the way i tOk become veri veri unbearable for the one who listen..esp at this point of time when i'm all stress up...all kinda rubbish jus come out....sometym i tried to make things rite but end up making it worse...i noe wad i wan to sae but somehow i duNNo how to express it the rite way...in this way my idea was brought upon in a wrong way making the matter worse...misunderstanding...
i apologised for the way i talk to him but the misundersatnding wasn't cleared...darling...i'm ok wif ur frens...those i dUn like...i told u long ago and aparently...u didn't like him as well...ur frens are there wif u be it having fun or at times of trouble...or at least they dUn mind to suffer wif u... they protected u when someone try to hurt u...tats why i didn't stop u when u are helping them bcos u are their fren...and i noe u wil help them no matter wad...tats why i feel secured being wif u...i noe no matter wad happen u wil b there...wad i was trying to sae yesterdae "bu yao pei ta men yi qi nao" means tat u shld considering helping urself and ur frens to work hard together...ya i agree tat ur sch teacher are bais and irritating...but u are chagning a sch soon rite...i hope u get wad i mean...at least u hav a bunch of frens who wil be there for u...
and ur badminton is good...maybe stil not at the level tat u can beat every single players on earth...but i believe if u work hard...u can do it...jia yOu! lao gong...
we have been quarrreling veri oftern...and ya...its bcos of my da xiao jie pi qi, my big mouth...and my stupid actions...of cos u have a hot temper as well...but i was the one who provoked u most of the time... i noe it is hard to have good temper if u hav a gal like mi...and i stil tel u to control ur temper...but the happy thing is tat...we quarrel but we are stil together...
i love u darling...forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....zhut!!!
Be with mi...
11:33 PM
those who noe mi shld noe tat i wouldn't stay on com for long...i dUn even check my own blog or frienster...tat tym qurrel wif my darling i tot he deleted his blog...i didn't expect tat he chgn his url...tats why i didn't ask for his url...
since my bro isn't in the room using com now...i went to his blog and read all his posts again...i noe i m not doing good enuff...but err...i'm trying...i noe i always fa da xiao jie pi qi...i wil try to chgn...jus like wad my uncle said...both of us hav to chgn if we wanna be together...so ya...i promise i wil work hard...
year 2007...life become totally diff ...i m not doing well enuff for everything i do...be it studies...being a good gf...or being a good daughter....i jus dUn do well in anything...total failure this yr...
i'm alone in the hse now...start to think of alot of stupid things agn...ya...i'm a total failure...i am no longer the crystal tan tat walk every step of life with confident...i nid support but i think i dUn deserve it...
Be with mi...
5:02 AM
LOving yOu
-`say yOu love mi